I am wondering what happened with the good old times, with all the innocent dreams, silly enthusiasm and childhood purity, with all the realness of our own worlds. The time was back in the primary school, and there were four of us: My best girl friend (if I’ve ever had one, that was her). She was a poet and a dreamy person, with all the good and the bad things that go with it. There were these two guys – funny, charming, with crazy ideas, wild dreams and stubborn determinism to change this world… And there was me. If someone told me back then that it was the best that it can get I wouldn’t believe them. But it was.

I remember sunny days in the school yard, breezy afternoons, the smell of spring and taste of our moms’ sandwiches. I remember waiting on this girl to go to class together even though school was only ten minutes away (and sometimes I would end up waiting just as much), and then going back home together, all four of us, and talking outside of our homes for hours. I remember endless rehearsals we cursed (we were all into acting, one way or the other), and staying in the library after class was just tiring, but needless to say, now I know, those were the best moments in my life…I don’t remember anything else in that world but us, nothing else just didn’t seem to be as important.

It never was that way again. It all ended right there, after primary school. One of the guys left Serbia after being my best friend for eight years, girl choose a different high school and the other guy was my seatmate for four long years of my high school. But it was never the same. We didn’t even hang out anymore. Maybe we didn’t want to because there were three of us, maybe it just couldn’t happen, or maybe we grew older and began thinking about other, more important things. Another four years passed, the three of us are now in Belgrade, studying different things, I get to see the guy every now and then, I don’t remember the last time I heard from the girl, and that guy that left Serbia… well I just found him on facebook and exchanged a couple of emails. It’s weird, distant, nostalgic.

Strange are the ways of life…

I changed after he left, after it ended. I changed a lot. I’ve never had a friend, the way I had them, again. I don’t think I am capable of feeling as happy as I was back in primary school, with all four of us together. It’s like a chapter of my life abruptly ended and a totally new one began. The sun has set long ago in my world and the skies became gloomy. Now I can only hope it doesn’t rain all day.. Although, most of the times, it does.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 11th, 2009 at 9:10 pm and is filed under inside my troubled head. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.